Ode of the City Slicker

I was just a lawyer,

Way up in Tennessee,

That's where I met my bride,

She's from west Texas don't ya see,

She wanted me to meet her folks,

They were gettin up in age,

What she failed to tell this ole boy,

Is we'd have to take the stage,

Pawnee, Comanche, Apache,

All tried to take our life,

Sometimes I'd wonder if it was worth it,

Then i'd look at my dear wife,

When we finally got to the ranch,

I thought things were goin great,

That is... until her daddy,

Tried to use me for mountain lion bait,

Emabarrassed and Dejected,

I went a wanderin,

Somehow I ended up,

Insid the cattle pen,

I wasn't sure just what I stepped in,

But I knew it wasn't sweet and pure,

That's when her ole man laughed at me,

Said "Son that there's manure."

"Be careful wher you step there sport,

Them cow pies sure git slick,"

Sure enough I takes a step,

And falls down lickety click,

Well I slunk off to the ranch house,

To take a shower you might surmise,

There was my bride cleanin carpet,

And much to my surprise,

Perfect green footsteps,

Right across that white cow hide,

And as I stopped to ponder them,

I felt a broom come across my side,

Broken hearted and embarrassed,

I just couldn't take no more,

So I snuck out to the barn,

Closed and locked the door,

Now ponderin my dilemma,

I decided I'd just go,

So I saddle up ole "Widowmaker",

I can take what he can throw,

I jumps up in the saddle,

And he jumps around a bit,

Then i throws those barn doors wide,

Smacks him with my hat says "Skit",

As I came around the barn yard,

Preparin to make my turn,

I asks this horse to stop,

for theres faces full of concern,

I climbed down off ole widowmaker,

Her father offered me a chaw,

"Have I ever told you son,

You'll make a fine son-in-law..."

Awestruck and bewildered,

I didn't know quite what to say,

Seeing confusion in my eyes,

"Son no one's ever rode that bay..."

That's been forty years now,

and now I run this ranch,

When asked if I'd change anything,

My reply is "NOT A CHANCE.."

Awe here comes my daughter,

And that must be her beau,

I gots to get back to work,

For mountain lion hunting we go....

June 04 2002

Range Ridin

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